Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
