I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
