We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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