feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
