i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
