I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
