so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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