margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
