If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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