We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
