i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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