I want to walk on stilts...naked
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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