if only i could text you this smell
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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