doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
