Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
