The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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