Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
