Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, beer. Big fan.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
