i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
