He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
