ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
