This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
