We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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