Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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