Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
