The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
