She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize