i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
