How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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