I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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