he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
