I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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