I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
