I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
