So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
