But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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