My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
