ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
