Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
