My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
