i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
