it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
