His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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