I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
