Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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