tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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