before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
