Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
