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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"

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• (805): View more from California

  Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I need dunkaroos back in my life.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ

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