I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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