How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
