walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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