So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
