that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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