He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
