why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
