Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
