Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
