so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
