All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
